Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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