so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Randomize
