I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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