people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We are all done wearing pants today
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
