real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize