why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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