C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
