Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
