Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
