check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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