I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
