i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm sobbing to NWA
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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