Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
