Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
