im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
