can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize