i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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