I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
