He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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