Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
