omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
