Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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