talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize