You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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