Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
