You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
