Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
