btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
