I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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