I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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