My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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