Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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