hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
