Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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