Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
