She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
