Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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