I just made out with a guy for $7.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
