So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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