its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize