Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
