please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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