i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
