i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
