Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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