yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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