I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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