go do what you do best...puke behind churches
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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