Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize