Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
