i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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