the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
