I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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