wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize