just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
