At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
