pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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