What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
