You're completely useless in the revolution.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
