My brain says no but my pants say off.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize